Blissport

More than a haven for unforgettable rolls in the hay, the honeymoon suite is your home away from home for days or weeks at a time. Frankly, unless you’ve consumed enough ginseng and Viagra® to impress the people at the Guinness Book of World Records (we are not laying down the gauntlet here), the honeymoon suite better pony up the amenities necessary to keep you and the Misses occupied when sightseeing, sunbathing, or sex isn’t on the agenda.

Fortunately, on the best-planned honeymoons, times like these are usually few and far between. No matter how sporadic however, spare moments to kick off your shoes, lay in bed, and turn on a 40-inch plasma TV to catch up on the week’s news or sports’ top 10 plays is always nice. But a media center touting a flat screen is just one of many amenities you shouldn’t vacation without. Basics aside – old coffee maker, broken iron, oddly-scented soap – if you manage to score a handful of these amenities, your honeymoon suite will feel a little more like home:

•    Top of the World – A honeymoon suite with the most spectacular view in the joint is pure romance. Not to mention that a litter of overactive toddlers on the floor above obliterates the peace and quiet you deserve. In short, get the penthouse.

•    Recipes of Love – A kitchen in your room means you don’t have to dine out for every meal. And with a quick trip to the store you might even find that a “home-cooked” meal is the special something that sweeps your new wife off her feet.

•    Care to Step Outside – In the best honeymoon suite, fresh air shouldn’t mean cranking up the air conditioning. Relaxing on the balcony, overlooking the pool or courtyard, that’s the ticket. Unless you have a unique affinity for hallways.

•    Love Blaze – Setting the mood is as simple as lighting up a fireplace. It’s a rare feature, but a fireplace can make your honeymoon suite warmer and more sensual. All you need to pack is a bearskin rug.

•    Clean & Sexy – You’ll make bath time fun again with an oversized luxury tub with room for two and powerful jets. An adjacent, stand-in shower doesn’t hurt either.

•    Fabric of Love – A washer and dryer shouldn’t top anybody’s list of must-haves, but a personal set saves time and quarters during extended vacations.

•    A Good Decorator – Possibly one of the most overlooked aspects of the ideal room –decoration. From the drapes to the paint, décor separates the warm and welcoming honeymoon suite from the “let’s get out of here” room.

•    Quite the Turn On – Yeah, we’ve already discussed the importance of the tube. But it seems important to mention that in this high-definition age, a crystal clear LCD or Plasma Television is the perfect way to relax during a honeymoon that otherwise keeps you busy.

•    Web-riffic – Would the universe cease to exist if you couldn’t check your email or surf the web for a single day? Don’t risk it. Get a honeymoon suite with powerful Wi-Fi. And when she asks why you’re packing a laptop for your special vacation, tell her it’s just precautionary measure.

•    Night & Day Caps – A fully-stocked mini bar. Do we really need to elaborate?

•    Breathing Room – Unless you’re willing to fork over the dough, a generously-sized room featuring separate living, dining and bedroom areas is rare nowadays. But if you’ve got some expendable income, you could find yourself in a honeymoon suite that feels like a luxury apartment, with more than the bed and a single chair to take a load off.

•    Music to Your Ears – Most hotels, even the kind you’re exiled to on business trips, offer an alarm clock with AM / FM radio. The best feature a top-of-the-line sound system with a jack for your mp3 player. Remember, a little music goes a long way towards ambiance.

•    Ooh-La-La Linens – The centerpiece to your love abode should feature impeccably clean, high-thread-count linens and feather pillows that promise a good night’s sleep and good place to, ahem, wrestle.

Unless you’re staying at a 5-star resort, you’ll probably only get a handful of the luxurious amenities you need to make your honeymoon suite extra special. So before you book anything, make sure it can cater to both of you. That is, when you’re not catering to each other.